The honeymoon phase of marriage fades fairly quickly, and then real life kicks in! Routine comes into play and you spend more time doing your own things. While space and hobbies are good, it does become a problem when they take up too much of your time.
A common problem many women have is that their husband spends more time playing video games, and don’t spend enough time focusing on their relationship or other duties around the house.
There are some real issues that a gaming addiction can bring about, and if your husband playing video games too often is starting to affect your relationship, there are some steps you can take.
Here is what to do if this is becoming a problem, before it takes control of your relationship!
Feeling Stuck?
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Tips If Your Husband Spends All His Time Gaming
Understand His Desire To Play
To many people, video games can seem incredibly childish and a huge waste of time. However, when addressing a problem and being able to understand your partner’s side, it helps to know why he plays so much.
To get to know a little more, you could join him for a few games or simply chat with him about what he loves about gaming. This could give you more insight into why he spends all of his free time playing video games.
You might not realize it, but you could spend all of your free time watching series, and it could be for the exact same reason!
Talk To Him
Like with every situation, the best way to solve it is to be open and honest. Wait till he is finished gaming, and sit him down to talk. Speak to him about how his gaming makes you feel, and ask why he spends all of his free time doing it.
If he becomes defensive or you become angry, it might be worth taking a step back and only talking again when the both of you have calmed down.
You will be able to resolve so much more through an open and honest conversation than what you would through a screaming match while he is playing video games.
Choose a time of day to talk when there are no distractions and no outside influences. Make sure you are both in a calm mood and give each other the chance to speak without interrupting. Do not just attack him for this, but give him the opportunity to speak as well.
Compromise
Relationships are all about compromise, and you and your husband will need to find a compromise to move forward.
There is no way you are going to win by asking him to stop playing video games for good. Not only is this probably undoable for him, but it is also unfair.
Try to think of compromises for both of you to make. Maybe he only plays video games in the evening, or he only plays for a certain amount of time a day.
It is important to remember that he is an adult, and you do not want to make it seem as though you are treating him like a child and giving him a limit or routine to stick to.
The compromise should be something that he can manage on his own and which he feels comfortable with. While it is unfair that he spends all his free time playing video games, you do not want to create more arguments.
Allowing him to regulate his video game times will definitely benefit both of you, and possibly make him more willing to try.
Ask Deeper Questions
Sometimes, obsessions stem from bigger problems. For many, video games are a way to escape reality and any stresses that might be happening.
If this sudden obsession with video games is fairly new or it seems way worse than normal, it is time to have a conversation with your husband to see if there is anything else wrong.
There could be issues at work that you aren’t aware of, he might be going through something tough, or there could even be possible problems in your relationship. Having this conversation with him to try and work out what might be wrong could be the only way for you to find out if there is a deeper problem.
Him opening up to you about possible issues gives you the opportunity to work through it better, and this could be a step in the right direction towards him spending less of his free time playing video games.
Seek Help If Necessary
If you think that your partner has become addicted to video games (which is a serious issue that many suffer from), it could benefit both of you seeking professional help.
There is no way to force him into this, so make sure that he is ready to accept help as well. You could either visit a couple’s counselor together or let him see someone on his own.
It is so important to understand healthy and unhealthy habits, and he might just need some external help to figure this all out and to regulate how he spends his time.
Put Effort Into The Relationship
Maybe the spark in your relationship has dwindled. It is natural for couples to lose a bit of interest and look for excitement elsewhere, which is why he might be turning to video games.
The two of you can try and put a little more effort into your relationship. Make an effort to spend more time together, to go on dates, to be more affectionate.
Putting in this effort could help to rekindle that spark, and might be just what he needs to put the video games down and spend more time with you!
Dealing With A Husband Obsessed With Video Games
There is no one way to deal with a husband who is obsessed with video games. The first step is to speak to him about it, and then address what you will do going forward.
Always keep in mind that you deserve love and attention, and definitely remind him about this when he is glued to his screen and not giving you the attention you deserve!
Need Extra Help?
If you feel like you and hit rock bottom are serious about fixing your marriage and avoiding a divorce, take a second to look into Regain.
Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.
Serious about saving or improving your relationship?
CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.