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Divorce is being sought by more couples than ever before. There are many reasons for an unhappy marriage and with the availability of fast legal procedures, the rate of divorce is on the rise.
Getting married is a major life transition for everyone. We are used to having our personal space and time.
A marriage should be an overall pleasant experience for both parties for the rest of their lives; it requires dedication and hard effort. It won’t always be rainbows and butterflies though.
It is easy to feel dissatisfaction and it’s expected. You can’t be happy all the time.
When things go wrong, we usually blame those closest to us. This will not benefit anyone, even though it may seem to be a normal reaction.
You must understand the following behaviors and practices to improve your chances of remaining together and avoiding being in an unhappy maarriage..
Feeling Stuck?
You don’t have to wait until you hit rock bottom to start improving your relationship. If you are serious about fixing your marriage and avoiding a divorce, take a second to look into Regain.
Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.
Just read this review that perfectly sums up what they can do for you:
“My husband and I have talked about couples counseling and as frequency in arguments increased, we knew we had to figure something out before we headed for divorce. Cost of counseling was prohibitive so we’re glad we found Regain. I had my reservations about being virtually matched to a counselor because I’ve independently gone through 3 counselors and 2 of them made me feel like a dollar sign to them. Gretchen is by far the most capable counselor I’ve worked with. She is respectful, engaged, and very capable. This is my husband’s first experience with therapy and he had doubts/hesitation but opened right up to her, as did I. We’re only 3 sessions in but after each session, my husband and I hug and kiss and are enlightened. This is due to Gretchen’s skills in navigating our conversations and probing underlying issues with thoughtful questions. She also smiles here and there, encouraging us – important to feel that connection virtually.“
Serious about saving or improving your relationship?
CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you
What To Do If Your Husband Loves You But Is Unhappy
Finding Quality Time
Finding enough quality time to spend with each other is one of the most difficult challenges in every marriage.
Both spouses are likely to work, plus need time for family, housekeeping, socializing, and shopping.
The majority of issues may be resolved via dialogue.
If you partners love language is quality time, this is even more important to schedule in.
Spending one-on-one time with each other can fall through the cracks, especially once you have one or a second born.
Talk to you husband about spending some more time together. Making the effort and trying to meet halfway in these difficult times.
Be Alone
On the other end of the spectrum, spending every waking minute of the day with your spouse isn’t healthy.
Some alone time for both of you will give you time to rethink and work on yourselves.
You both must have your time apart from one another throughout your relationship in order for it to thrive.
The sage old saying of ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ is extremely true. Give each other some space and time.
Encourage him to take on some hobbies and activities he loves. You can (and should) do the same.
Get back into the hobbies you used to have and love once again. What did you enjoy doing before you were married? Start dabbling in those and grow as individuals as much as you grow as a couple.
Stop Questioning
Some couples make it a practice to continuously check in on each other by asking questions about where they have been and with whom they have spent their time.
This may result in a high degree of mistrust and a dissatisfying marriage. It is critical to allow each other to be free.
Again, you have to give each other space to be individuals in your relationship.
This isn’t for all couples, but constantly questioning and giving your partner the third degree can make anyone feel suffocated and unhappy.
Check in with yourself and see if this is something you’ve been guilty of.
Work with a Marriage Counselor
Seeking professional help for your marriage is a smart decision if you and your spouse want to revitalise or preserve your relationship.
Many individuals choose not to take this step and subsequently express regret for not having attempted it.
Working with a professional may be beneficial if you feel stuck in the decision-making process or have difficulty getting through tough discussions regarding this challenging subject.
Having a neutral third-party can be crucial, especially if things have been getting heated.
Make Small Changes Together
It’s time to start making modest adjustments as a couple if you’ve decided that you’re ready to work on the marriage together and want to rekindle feelings of closeness and love in your relationship.
Make an effort to come up with a strategy for getting back on track as a team. As you try to rebuild your marriage, be patient with yourself and your spouse. It takes time.
Something as small as weekly ‘date nights’ can be huge. You don’t even have to go out that night if it’s not in your budget.
Just have some time without phones, children, or distractions to cook together and enjoy each others company once again.
Simply taking an hour to try and reconnect can be huge.
Be Generous With Each Other
Maintaining a sense of kindness toward your spouse is essential for a happy marriage.
Even if generosity has nothing to do with money, spending additional time and effort on your spouse will make a significant impact on your marriage’s long-term success.
Little comforts, tokens of love, additional assistance, or special attention are all things you may give your spouse or wife. If your wife enjoys having her back massaged, make the offer rather than wait for her to request it.
Alternatively, if your husband loves a cup of coffee before heading to work in the morning, make it for him and add something special to it, such as a flavouring or a creamer that he appreciates.
Maintain in mind, though, that you should not keep score. To bring pleasure back into your marriage, you cannot afford to be petty and keep track of everything.
When it comes to showing your spouse that you care about him more than you do yourself, go above and above to demonstrate generosity and selflessness.
Your husband will need to take steps to ensure that you continue to feel loved and safe in the future, but you may also need to make adjustments to ensure that you continue to feel loved and secure.
If there are areas in which you believe you might improve, make every effort to go in that direction.
Whatever you choose to do for yourself, whatever self-work you undertake will benefit your mental and emotional health in the long term.
Don’t Let Yourself Be A Victim
When the satisfaction in a marriage begins to wane over time, it is not uncommon that the blame can be placed solely on one partner.
And when you find yourself in this position, it’s very simple to point the finger at your spouse, mentally cataloging, re-listing, and memorizing the flaws and behaviors, you think are to blame for your marital problems.
It is your duty to examine your life and determine what part you may have had in the sadness you are experiencing in your relationship if you are experiencing continuous or long-term dissatisfaction.
Instead of adopting the victim position and giving the oppressor role to your spouse, you should concentrate on becoming a better and happier person. Spend time working on yourself and making the necessary adjustments to put yourself in a better position.
Making good adjustments on your own will affect your relationship with your partner. It will impact how you see yourself and how your partner perceives you, and it will ultimately be beneficial to your relationship.
If you are being mistreated, ignored, or abused by your spouse, becoming well will give you the ability to establish proper boundaries, defend yourself, and effect change in your relationship.
Always seek professional counseling and assistance from trustworthy friends or family members as you strive to live a better lifestyle in the present.
Focus On The Positives
Even when your marriage is experiencing difficulties, it is possible to get immersed in negativity, to the point that you cannot see or appreciate the good parts of your spouse or your life together.
It’s important to be intentional about being optimistic and developing an appreciation for your benefits through difficult circumstances.
Not only should you accept responsibility for your role in the terrible circumstances you encounter, but you should also accept responsibility for the wonderful moments you experience–that is, for the good you may bring into and remove from your life.
Make it a daily practice to engage in many pleasant conversations with your spouse regularly. Take the time to point out or discuss something that makes you feel good. It’s important to express gratitude and praises to those that assist you.
Gratitude helps to keep you from succumbing to negativity during times of marital dissatisfaction by keeping you grounded.
Want to read similar post? Check out my husband is not a good provider and my husband spends all his free time playing video games
The Bottom Line
While there may be numerous signs that your husband is no longer in love with you, you can only find out by talking about it.
If that’s true, you may either concentrate on repairing your marriage or leave it. Both choices are legitimate and may be beneficial.
Need Extra Help?
If you feel like you and hit rock bottom are serious about fixing your marriage and avoiding a divorce, take a second to look into Regain.
Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.
Serious about saving or improving your relationship?
CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.