Most parents have found themselves swearing to never go through having a baby again, with the constant feeds, sleepless nights, and for moms, likely a painful birth experience (not to mention nine months of discomfort and morning sickness)
Yet at some point, most parents find themselves questioning whether they should have a second child – we very quickly forget how it felt early on!
No matter the time between having your first and thinking of having a second, it can be a huge decision to make, and even taking the step to begin thinking about a second baby can be scary.
You would be set in your routine and your way of life, and a new baby thrown into the mix will definitely change all of that!
One way to help you decide is to list the pros and cons of having a second child. This might seem a bit menial for something as big as having a second child, but it can really help you sort your thoughts out!
Keep In Mind Every Family Is Different
It is so important to remember that every family is different. What might be a con for your family might not be as big of an issue for another family.
Some families look to have multiple children, and some are only wanting one. When going through the below list of pros and cons, take them as guidance only, and apply them to your family as best as possible.
Think about your firstborn child as well. Do you think they are ready to adapt to a new sibling? Do you have the time for two children? There are so many considerations to take, and everybody will have different answers to these!
There is no right or wrong answer. You just need to decide as parents what is best for your family, and go from there!
The Cons Of Having A Second Child
We will cover the cons first, so you get to know all the issues you might have with having a second child before going over the good stuff!
Once again, some cons might mean more to you than they do to other families, so keep this in mind when reading through the below cons, and think about how they might affect your family.
You Will Be Tired
One of the main reasons why you might be nervous about having a second child is feeling tired all the time.
A lot of new parents ask when will motherhood be less exhausting?! And if you have two small children, the answer may be… never.
Not only will you have a newborn to deal with, and the sleepless nights and everything else that comes with it, but you will also have your firstborn to care for as well.
Even before your second-born arrives, pregnancy can really wear you down. Fatigue, morning sickness, and discomfort can make caring for your firstborn really difficult.
Think about having to take your firstborn to school in the morning after being up all night with a newborn, or dealing with two children up in the middle of the night, or battling to get them both to sleep at night.
No doubt having a second baby will come with quite a bit of tiredness!
Your Time Will Be Divided
Right now with one child, you can give your child all of your attention. They have your undivided attention, and they might be very used to this.
You can’t create more time in a day, and when your second child arrives, it is inevitable that this time will be divided between your two children.
Remember as well that a newborn is very demanding, and this means you will have to spend more time with your newborn and less time with your older child.
Having a good support system can really help with this, but you will feel guilty for not having the one-on-one time with your firstborn like you use to.
This does even out as your baby grows, and while you might have to split your time between the two children, they will have each other!
Your Firstborn Could Have Difficulty Adapting
Some children adapt really well when their sibling arrives, and others do battle.
Moving from the only child to an older sibling can be really difficult, and it will take some time and patience to help them settle into being the older sibling, and not being the center of your attention anymore.
Starting Again
You may have just moved out of the breastfeeding, bottle feeding, diapers, and sleepless nights, only to have to do it all again.
For many parents, having to go through the newborn and baby stages can be a nightmare. Not only do you have to worry about this, but pregnancy too. As wonderful as pregnancy is, it does come with some really nasty side effects!
Expenses
Having another baby does come with added expenses, and many families cannot budget for this. You might have to buy all new baby items, you might even have to move to a bigger house.
Think about diapers, clothes, formula, and later on school uniforms and going-out expenses.
Another child means double these expenses, and while there are some ways to get around some of the more expensive things, it is inevitable that another baby will cost you more money.
Sibling Rivalry
No matter how much your two children grow to love each other, there will be fights and arguments. You will become referee to your two kids, and on long and stressful days, their incessant fighting can become quite hard to deal with!
The Pros Of Having A Second Child
Now we can go through all the positives of having a second child!
Some of the below will be more applicable for you than others, but they are all great reasons why having a second child is a good idea.
It Is Easier Second Time Round
While it can be scary having to go through all the diaper changes and sleepless nights all over again, it is easier the second time around.
You would have a better idea of what it takes to look after a baby, and you probably won’t spend too much time stressing over small things.
Having done it all before, you would be more confident with your second child.
Siblings Are For Life
A sibling is one of the greatest gifts you could give your firstborn!
They will be friends for life and will be there to support each other even after you have gone.
You are giving them a partner and a best friend, and the love of a sibling is really so special.
They Entertain Each Other
One great part of having a second child is that your children will entertain each other, which means you can have a little bit of time to yourself!
Whether you want to chill on the couch while the kids play outside or let the children entertain each other while you are at an event or gathering, your two children work as the perfect entertainment for each other.
Yes, there will be some fights and arguments, but overall siblings play together well.
You Experience It All Again
This can be a con in some ways, but the beauty of having a second child is that you get to experience pregnancy, birth, and the different milestones all over again.
It can be quite heartbreaking looking at your firstborn and realizing all of those milestones are gone, but with a second child, you can go through it all and cherish it all again.
More Love
While a family with one child has an immeasurable amount of love and is definitely not missing out on anything, a second baby can add more love on top of this.
It gives you another child to watch, grow and love, and it gives your firstborn another type of relationship to experience as well.
There is something so special about watching your firstborn meet and bond with their new sibling.
You Might Have All The Gear Already
You might be lucky enough to have kept most of your first child’s baby gear, such as a travel system, cot, and maybe even clothes.
When it comes to a second child, having all of these already definitely saves you a ton of money, and you will not have to worry about adding these big-ticket items into your budget again.
You will also know what items are necessary, and which things you could probably do without this time. You will be a little wiser with the second child!
Deciding To Have A Second Child
For some parents, deciding to have a second child is an easy choice, whereas for others it is a little more difficult.
Remember that every family is different, and you need to make a decision that is best for your family unit, not what might be best for someone else.
Make sure you are ready to take on all that comes with a second child, and if you decide to add to your family, prep your firstborn as much as possible to prepare them for life as an older sibling!