For many new moms, having a helping hand or two in the first few months really goes a long way. Whether you take the time when someone is watching your baby to have a nap, go for a walk, or even just sit on the couch and scroll through social media, it is so important to help with some self-care.
However, many moms are stressed by the fact that their baby begins to cry when they see them. You would think your baby would be happy to see you after some time apart and crying is the opposite reaction to what you would have hoped for.
So, Why does my baby cry when she sees me?
If you have found yourself asking this question, quite out of desperation, let’s first understand why this happens and if there is anything you can do to prevent it in the future…
Why Your Baby Cries When They See You
Whether you were apart from your baby for 10 minutes or 2 hours does not matter, they will still notice you are not around. As you are pretty much the center of their universe, this is going to be quite a big occurrence for them.
Your baby might be absolutely fine and absolutely happy when they are with someone else, and they might not even cry at all. That is until you show up.
This could leave you with questions as to why they only cry when they see you, and if it is because they don’t want to actually be with you.
The truth is that your baby does not know how to properly show or convey their emotions yet. Seeing you might bring up a whole lot of very confusing feelings for them that they maybe didn’t have to deal with when you weren’t around.
The best way they know how to show their emotions is to cry and while this might be quite confusing for us, them crying when they see you is a good sign that they feel safe and happy when they are with you.
Your baby crying when they see you shows that there is some separation anxiety there, but this is completely normal and expected at their age.
It might not be fun coming home to a crying baby, especially when you’re excited to see them, but take it as a sign that you are doing a good job and your baby is just happy to be with you again!
Tips To Handle Separation Anxiety
Your baby crying when they see you is most likely due to separation anxiety, so knowing how to deal with separation anxiety can help you both through these situations.
These tips will help you work through the separation anxiety, and not let it control your life!
Practice Being Apart
It may seem a bit counterproductive, but one of the best things you can do is to practice separation. This doesn’t mean dropping them off at your parents for the weekend, but small separation practice every day can help.
This could be in the form of playing peekaboo, which helps to reinforce the idea that you will always return after leaving. Another idea is to hide one of your baby’s favorite stuffed animals and then giving it back to them.
This all helps them understand somewhat that things and people that go do return. After this, you can then try leaving them with someone they feel comfortable with and who you trust for short periods of time, and after a while they should get used to you being away, and comfortable with the idea that you always come back.
Don’t Sneak Out
As tempting as it might be to sneak out without having to say goodbye to your baby, it is important that you make a point of saying goodbye when you are leaving. Just disappearing could cause them to become anxious and worried that you could just disappear at any time without warning.
Always say goodbye, and make a point of it so that they know when you are leaving, and that they feel as though they have had a chance to say goodbye, even if you think they are too young to understand.
Have A Goodbye Routine
Babies do so well with routine, and you might think that your little one is too young to notice a routine, but they will definitely catch onto something if you do it often enough.
It is a good idea to have a goodbye routine when leaving your baby, even if it is just for a quick run to the store.
This routine can be unique and special to you and your little one. Sing a little goodbye, give a hug and a kiss, and some special words.
They will soon learn that this routine means you are going away, but they will also become comfortable with the fact that you will be coming back.
Don’t Make Goodbyes Too Long
While it is advised to have a goodbye routine with your little one, you should not draw goodbyes out. Your baby might cry when you leave, but the worst thing you could do is stand around and make even more of a fuss of it.
Say your goodbyes, give them a kiss, and then give them to whoever they are being watched by. They will become distracted and stop crying soon enough, and the sooner you leave, the sooner this will happen.
Why Your Baby Cries When They See You
It can be heartbreaking to come home to a crying baby, instead of one who is happy and smiling when they see you. This is even more heartbreaking when they have been absolutely fine with the person watching them!
Do not take it as a sign that they are unhappy or that they aren’t excited to see you. It is quite the opposite, your baby crying when she sees you show that she is comfortable with you and that she is happy to see you, but crying is really the only way she knows how to process emotions right now!
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