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Husband Looks At Other Woman (What It Means & What To Do!)

Have you been out with your husband, talking to him, or trying to have some time together away from the kids, only to notice his eyes dart over to a beautiful woman walking past, and them lingering a little too long.

It can be really upsetting to notice your husband looking at other women. It could make you feel jealous, insecure, and hurt over the fact that he maybe doesn’t look at you that way anymore.

A lot of men like to look, whether married or single, and often it is something that they do not even notice they are doing. However, you notice, and it could cause you to feel quite insecure in the relationship.

If you notice your husband looking at other women, should you be worried? Keep reading to find on what it means, and whether it is something to be concerned about or not.

Feeling Stuck?

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Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.

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My husband and I have talked about couples counseling and as frequency in arguments increased, we knew we had to figure something out before we headed for divorce. Cost of counseling was prohibitive so we’re glad we found Regain. I had my reservations about being virtually matched to a counselor because I’ve independently gone through 3 counselors and 2 of them made me feel like a dollar sign to them. Gretchen is by far the most capable counselor I’ve worked with. She is respectful, engaged, and very capable. This is my husband’s first experience with therapy and he had doubts/hesitation but opened right up to her, as did I. We’re only 3 sessions in but after each session, my husband and I hug and kiss and are enlightened. This is due to Gretchen’s skills in navigating our conversations and probing underlying issues with thoughtful questions. She also smiles here and there, encouraging us – important to feel that connection virtually.

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Is It Normal For Men To Look At Other Women?

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The general answer is yes, it is normal and natural for men to look at other women. It does not mean they are wanting to cheat or get involved with someone else, it is more just how they act on impulse.

While it is normal for men to look at other women, it is natural for women to become upset about it as well. As a woman, and a wife, you would want to try and work out why your husband is looking at other women. While there is no one blanket answer and it can differ from man to man, here are some of the most common reasons why their eye might linger a little too long:

  • He simply thinks she is physically attractive or beautiful
  • A little bit of serotonin was released in his brain when he saw her, causing him a slight feeling of pleasure 
  • He wonders (even involuntarily) what it could be like to be with her, in a very innocent way

While his mind might wander to these things and he might appreciate her beauty, this does not mean that he wants to act on anything or even get up to talk to her. He is just having a look, even if you think the look lingers a little too long.

Most of the time, a man will not realize that he is looking at other women in front of you, but this does not excuse how it makes you feel.

What Looking At Other Women Doesn’t Mean

It can be difficult for us as women to understand why our husband might look at other women, as we don’t necessarily do the same whenever a fairly attractive man walks past.

Because of the differences between men and women, we can find it more upsetting than it maybe needs to be, especially if your husband is loyal and you do trust him.

It is easy for our mind to jump to conclusions about what it might mean, but if your husband is one of the good ones and you have no reason to distrust him, here are some of the things that him looking at other women doesn’t mean:

  • It doesn’t mean he thinks she is more beautiful than you
  • It doesn’t mean he is more attracted to her than he is to you
  • It doesn’t mean he isn’t satisfied with you
  • It doesn’t mean that he is unfaithful or he is going to be
  • It doesn’t mean your relationship is on the rocks

Most of the time, looking is just that, and it really isn’t anything for you to be worried about. 

When Your Husband Looking At Other Woman Becomes A Problem

A lot of the time, it is completely harmless when your husband looks at other women, but in some relationships, it could develop into a more serious issue.

If you feel uncomfortable with your husband’s behavior, you do need to talk to him about it. There is definitely a line that he should not cross, especially if you are already feeling uncomfortable.

It does become a problem when his looks turn to stares, and when he makes other people feel uncomfortable because of how he is acting. 

It is also more of a problem if he fantasizes a little too much about acting on these feelings, and takes it a step too far by even trying to talk to the woman.

Even if he does not have any intentions of taking things further than a small look, if you have spoken to him about this and he knows that it makes you feel uncomfortable, he should do his best to not look at other women when around you.

How To Deal With Your Husband Looking At Other Women

There are some things you can do if you notice your husband looking at other women, to try and make yourself feel more secure, and to have him understand how his behavior makes you feel.

The first thing to do is to not assume that him looking at other women means he is cheating or wanting to cheat. Remember it is a fairly normal thing for guys to do, and you should not read into it too much.

Next, you must remember to set realistic expectations for your partner. He is human, and he is not perfect, neither are you. It might be completely natural for him to look at other women, even if he doesn’t notice that he is doing it. 

You are definitely able to speak to him about it, but don’t expect him to never look at another woman ever again – that is just impossible!

The most important thing to do however is to let him know how you feel. He might not notice he does it, and therefore he wouldn’t have a clue as to how it makes you feel. Be honest with him and don’t be accusatory or angry, instead just point out that it makes you feel insecure when he looks elsewhere.

Chances are he will respect you for being calm and cool-headed about it, and it could help you both learn a little more about how your actions affect each other.

Need Extra Help?

If you feel like you and hit rock bottom are serious about fixing your marriage and avoiding a divorce, take a second to look into Regain.

Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.

Serious about saving or improving your relationship?

CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.

Found this helpful? Make sure to check out our other posts:

Husband Says He Loves Me But Is Unhappy

My Husband Is Moving Out But I Want To Save The Marriage

My Husband Spends All His Free Time Playing Video Games

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