So, you’re ready to take the next step in your marriage and expand your family. That’s amazing! But are you wondering how to know if your husband will be a good father? I know I was.
Although we may never know for certain who will and won’t make a good father, there are some clues to look for. Common signs are a husband who is compassionate, playful, hardworking, and emotionally intelligent. These are all positive signs they will be a good father and always be there for you and your kids.
Having kids is a huge milestone, and its significance is why it’s important to make sure that you and your husband are truly ready for what comes next.
So how exactly do you know if your husband will be a good father?
Signs A Man Will Be A Good Father
He Doesn’t Take Things Too Seriously
There’s nothing wrong with a father who tends to be serious most of the time, but your husband has to be willing to let loose, too!
Raising kids is serious work, but it also has lots of silly moments.
You’ll have to make funny faces, act ridiculous, and let your weirdness shine to entertain children and bond with them.
On top of that, accidents and mistakes are a common part of learning about parenthood. Your kids are going to be unpredictable and you’ll both mess up now and then.
If your husband wouldn’t be willing to laugh off some errors, he’s likely going to struggle with the many mishaps that await.
Relationships can’t function if one person is constantly picking up the other’s slack, and that becomes amplified when children come into the picture.
You’ll have a much easier time making the transition into parenthood if your husband naturally picks up an equal share of life responsibilities.
So ask yourself: does your husband do tasks around the house and take initiative in your relationship and life together?
The last thing you want to have to do is beg him to do 10% of the childcare while you, exhausted, do 90% of it plus all the chores.
A husband who can’t even do the bare minimum isn’t ready to have kids.
He Freely Shows Affection
Children need to be shown love and affection.
An emotionally unavailable husband wouldn’t be able to provide them with that.
His distance will send a message to your kids that they aren’t loved, causing them to feel neglected by their own father.
No amount of love you give them will make up for the glaringly obvious lack of it from the other parental figure in their life.
It’s understandable if your husband struggles with being open and is still working on his emotional availability.
After all, society raises men to repress how they feel in favor of being “macho”.
It’s okay if he needs more time to learn to be openly affectionate, but until he’s better at that, he isn’t ready for fatherhood.
He Has His Life (Mostly) Together
Kids are expensive to take care of and they have long lives filled with needs ahead of them.
As such, some semblance of life security is necessary before you make the big decision to have children.
A husband whose head is in the clouds is still figuring things out, or who hasn’t been working on himself isn’t ready to bring kids into his life.
This isn’t to say that you need to be in perfect financial security to have children.
Instead, it means that you and your husband both need to have some of your life put together.
You should have enough income to support feeding another mouth, and that income should be from a relatively stable location.
You should also both have some plans for the future and have taken steps to put those plans into action.
Parenthood is never going to be all sunshine and rainbows.
It’s going to be hard, and children will test your patience and sometimes feel impossible to deal with.
You and your husband will have moments where you feel confused, out of your depth, or even completely furious.
No person has a perfect temper, of course, and anger is a natural emotion that you will both feel at many points of your parenting endeavors.
Still, your husband has to be a patient person to handle those fatherhood difficulties.
If his temper can be set off by virtually even the most minor misfortunes, it’s going to be a bad time all around when your kids make messes.
He Handles Pressure Well
There’s a lot of stress and pressure involved with being a parent.
It’s normal to feel afraid and overwhelmed by all the power and responsibility that comes with the title of “father”.
But that’s even more reason for your husband to be good at handling these feelings before he takes that step.
Being able to manage stress will help your husband as he deals with his many life obligations and the demands of a child.
Pay attention to how he handles difficulties at work or with his family. If he tends to crumble in the face of adversity, consider holding off on kids for the time being.
He’s Willing To Learn
The learning curve of parenthood is incredibly steep.
Being too proud to learn will automatically set you up for failure.
Open-mindedness, on the other hand, can make the process easier. To be a good father, your husband needs to be humble. He has to be prepared to be wrong, be corrected, and pick up lessons from others.
Many people struggle with swallowing their pride, and if your husband is one of them, that just spells trouble for children.
He’s Not Easily Grossed Out
We all know that kids can be gross.
Think about changing smelly diapers, dealing with puke and burps, and wiping spittle up as you go.
And then think about how young children tend to find gross things funny, meaning they’re likely to play some pranks involving boogers and farts at some point!
Sure, it takes a while to get used to all these gross things, so your husband may not be the best at stomaching it at first.
But he’s definitely not ready for kids yet if he already struggles with even mildly off-putting things!
You’re welcome to go ahead and try, but know that you might get stuck with all the gross tasks in his stead!
He Wants To Be A Father
The biggest sign that your husband will be a good father is simple: he wants to be one.
There’s nothing wrong with a man learning to adjust to the idea of unexpected parenthood, but you can trust for sure that your husband is ready when he’s realistic but still wants it.
He knows it’ll be hard, gross, weird, and even frightening, and he’s still eager to take those next steps with you.
It’s that kind of positive energy that he’ll need when raising loving, amazing kids!
What Are The Qualities Of A Good Father?
Fatherhood and being a good dad mean different things for different people.
For some, a good father means a good provider. A man that takes care of his family financially. Or perhaps a good father is someone who makes you feel safe and loved. A good father is someone who protects his children from harm.
Or, most likely, he’s a combination of all these things and more.
Being a good father is hard to define but it’s abunddandly clear when you see it.
In general, a good father is simply someone who shows up. He’s there for the good and bad times. When you have a baseball game or broke your arm.
He’s a man who prioritizes his family. No excuses. You make time for the things you care about and a good father makes time for his family.
Ask yourself, does your husband make time for you? If the answer is no, it’s unlikely he will start when you have a baby.
In general, a good father has a lot of qualities but the main ones that come to mind are:
- Values and Respects His Wife (Or Mother Of His Children If Divorced)
- Expresses His Feelings Openly
- Leads By Example
- Strong Moral Compass
- Accepts and Encourages His Children To Be Different/Not Like Him
- Can Be A Disciplinarian
- Shows His Children Unconditional Love
You don’t need to have children with someone to spot these personality traits. Ask yourself if your husband has these traits.
It’s not likely he’ll have all of them, but you need to be aware of what his weaknesses might be and whether or not those are dealbreakers for raising a family together.
Wrapping it up…
Being a good father, or a good parent regardless of gender doesn’t come easy.
It’s important to note that even if your husband isn’t currently fit to be a parent that he can’t become a good one in the future.
Keep an open mind and maintain communicative dialogue with him about your goals for children.
You can work on becoming good parents together.
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