Do you feel like you’re walking around on eggshells in your marriage? Has your husband been increasingly more irritable over tiny details? It can be uncomfortable, confusing, and even frightening, especially if that anger is directed at you.
First and foremost, if your husband is being verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive, you should focus on getting help and getting out. You do not deserve to be poorly treated, no matter what his reasoning is behind his actions.
But beyond that, let’s answer the pertinent question. Why does your husband get angry over small things? Here are some possible reasons…
Feeling Stuck?
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Why Your Husband Get’s Angry Over Small Things
He Has Anger Issues
A lot of people have anger issues that manifest in their lashing out at various things. Anger as an emotion is healthy when expressed in the appropriate ways.
But anger issues mean uncontrolled, excessive, and toxic levels of this feeling.
If your husband gets angry at many different things, consider if this has been a pattern before. Has he always been quick to anger, just not to this extent?
If so, he likely has underlying anger issues that need to be actively worked on to be changed.
He’s Angry At Himself
Being angry at yourself is a complicated feeling. There’s a lot of confusion, guilt, regret, and self-loathing that gets all mixed up here.
It can cause people to lash out and be especially irritable. Your husband will need some time to cool off before he’ll revert to his usual self.
He’s Upset With You In Some Way
When someone doesn’t know how to properly communicate their emotions, they bottle it up and it seeps out in other ways.
Maybe your husband is upset with you but doesn’t know how to talk to you about it.
As such, he ends up directing that anger at everything else. If you think this is the case, you can calmly start a positive conversation about what’s troubling him.
It’s his responsibility to do his part and communicate his gripes with you in a direct way.
He Has Low Self-Esteem
Men aren’t given the same space to feel insecure and be helped for these insecurities as people of other genders.
This can contribute to issues with self-esteem that can manifest in anger. If your husband struggles with his self-image and confidence, this could be the reason he’s getting mad over little things.
Hyping him up and validating his fears is a great way to help him work through these thoughts.
He’s Stressed Out
Stress can do a lot of crazy things to people! It sends your body into fight-or-flight, which makes you behave in irrational and exaggerated ways.
If your husband seems to get angry over a lot of small things, he may be stressed out over various different issues in his life.
This is especially likely if he’s not normally so quick to anger. Maybe he had an argument with someone, is dealing with tough life circumstances, or is undergoing some difficulty at work.
He Has Underlying Trauma Or Disorders
There are lots of mental disorders, trauma sources, and other psychological issues that lend themselves to anger.
Your husband may have some of these issues undiagnosed or simply not properly cared for or managed.
This can manifest in anger, which is a common symptom of numerous disorders.
If you suspect this may be what’s happening with your husband, he’ll need professional help.
Encouraging him to seek a therapist, counselor, or similar mental health expert will be beneficial to him.
He’s Cheating
We know that this is horrible to consider! But the guilt that comes from infidelity can have strange effects on cheaters.
Plus, the stress of balancing a new relationship in secret can contribute to general irritability.
You shouldn’t go around accusing your husband of cheating just because he’s been angrier lately.
But if this is accompanied by other signs that make you question his loyalty, it’s time to start thinking about things.
He’s Trying To Control You
Anger is a big, overwhelming, and often dangerous emotion.
It’s a suggestion of potential violence and, at many times, is enough to make people shrink and agree to any demands given to them.
If your husband has a history of abusive patterns and behavior, his anger over small things may be a part of that.
By displaying his rage constantly, he may be trying to make you frightened enough to listen to him and stay in his control.
He’s A Perfectionist
Is your husband a bit of a perfectionist? A stickler for rules? A person who wants everything to be “just so”?
Then he might get angry over small things that he perceives as not fitting his desired idea of perfection. It has nothing to do with you – he’s just very particular about those little details!
He’s Unhappy With His Life
When someone is dissatisfied with their life, they find all sorts of reasons to hate it and be mad at it.
Every single little detail becomes part of the thing they’re unhappy about. If your husband seems to be on the cusp of a life crisis or something similar, this could be what’s bugging him.
It’s likely that he’ll need some form of mental health counseling or therapy in order to get back on track and manage his feelings!
Conclusion
If your husband gets angry over small things, it’s important to remember that this doesn’t have anything to do with you. You’re not at fault or to blame for his behavior. So don’t take it personally – it’s not about you. Disengage and walk away.
More importantly, though, remember that you don’t have to accept poor treatment in your marriage. Your husband’s personal anger issues shouldn’t manifest in harmful behavior directed at you.
Regardless, you don’t have to put up with his fury, and he should be working on himself through counseling or personal reflection.
If you feel unsafe in your marriage and things aren’t improving, leave. You deserve better!
Need Extra Help?
If you feel like you and hit rock bottom are serious about fixing your marriage and avoiding a divorce, take a second to look into Regain.
Regain offers licensed therapists who specialize in couples counseling and will work directly with you and your spouse online; anytime and from anywhere.
Serious about saving or improving your relationship?
CLICK HERE to answer a short quiz and see if Regain is right for you.
Found this helpful? Make sure to check out our other posts:
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